Engine Punk

Candidi Provocatores Allard J1X Is this the ultimate trials car? It may not be the most up-to-date but it's brutally effective. My scrap buddy, Rob Robinson-Collins, and I borrowed it from owner Roger Ugalde for the 2009 Land's End Trial with the result that we both want one. Rob's a little ahead of me in that game. He has, as the French knights in Monty Python and The Holy Grail would say, "already got one." It is indeed, "vair nass-eh." In fact, Rob's got two Allards, a complete L-type in pieces and another one that had been chopped around to make a kind of overgrown HRF-Opus hotrod thingy. HRF stood for Hot Rod Ford and with a heavy metal Allard chassis and a stonking great Ford V8 it was more of an HRF-Magnum Opus. Rob was initially looking for a spare gearbox for his other Allard but when he told Tina about what he'd found attached the gearbox of his dreams, she said, "Well, at that price you can't really say no." What ...

I've just been advised of this extremely positive review on BookPleasures for The Wormton Lamb. I am particularly pleased because I wasn't entirely sure if the Anarchadian Engine Punk thang would translate for American readers but it seems that in this country we've been led to expect the worst. Obviously, this particular reviewer is a highly intelligent woman of considerable taste. And before anyone asks, no i don't know her. In the UK we hear so many stories of British TV programmes being re-written and re-acted to suit the American sense of homour - hell the folks in the parish beyond the Scillies even spell it differently - but they are people like you and me. Some jokes they get and some they don't just like Europeans, Africans, Indians, Chinese, Japanese and Australians. So I am re-assured that it my stuff will appeal to the American market and could even go global. It's quite easy being a megalomaniac, y'know.

Cheer up! While I was in the queue for a cup of tea at the Bridgewater control on the Land's End Trial, I fell into conversation with the crew of one of the 1488cc Trojan Utilities and took the opportunity to ask them how much preparation they had done to their cars for trialling. There were two Trojan Utilities entered in the trial together one crewed by John Wilson and Richard Potter from Portchester and the other one by Steve and Phil Potter from Fareham (where, as the song goes, "all the whores wear Calico draws and I knows how to tear 'em.") I haven't tried this myself you understand. I have simply been assured of this quaint custom by friends of mine who live in those parts. Despite their benign weirdness, Trojans are very well proportioned cars. I particularly like the way the skinny wheels look widened. I'd seen them working on their Trojans at the start at Popham airfield and feared the worst but they were simply trying different carbure...

I don't know the full details yet but my work is to be used as an example in a new on-line creative writing course - that's a good example before anyone out there says anything. Run by the New Horizons Writing Academy on Writing.com , one module concentrates on inspiration and breaking up writer's block and I have been cited as a good example of writing about what I know and using my imagination to put a new twist in things. I'm thankful that I've never really suffered from writer's block. Sometimes it would be quite nice to be left alone by my muses for there often seems to be so many of them. But if I ever get a bit stuck with what happens next or wish to link sections that I've already drafted - because i don't write sequentially - then write a literary review of the section I am about to write. I've travelled forward in time and am looking back through the eyes of another person at something I am about to write. Of course, they think it...

At the Wilsey Down Control on the Land’s End Trial, Rob and I spotted our old outfit. It was running a bit late in company with Dave West on his XT350 and was crewed by its new owners Peter and Shani Adams. Although behind schedule, Peter and Shani were obviously enjoying themselves and had already got to know their chariot a lot better on this their second outing on the bike. Their first was the Exeter back in January. Shani had become something of a workshop widow over Christmas as Pete took the Cox-Triumph apart and put it back together again. As he said to Rob, “It’s got all the right bits on it.” During re-assembly, he added a very nice crankcase breather (like a little air filter it was) and he reduced the size of the seat box and panelled in the rear brackets on the very back of the chair to allow more floor area and bouncing opportunities when traction is needed. Rob approved of these modifications and the bike sounded just as good as ever when Peter kicked it over. ...

The Wormton Lamb has just had a 4 star review on Amazon. Apparently Mr B (me) is not in the same league as Mr A (Douglas Adams) but I would have agreed with that. Get this - "I was frequently completely taken aback by the inventiveness, cleverness and downright absurdity of many of his ideas." That's me the reviewer's talking about, not Mr A. There are 6 new copies available from ₤11.97 and 3 available from ₤17.24 – so there’s already a cachet associated with secondhand copies. No ranking yet but with three secondhand copies somebody must have been buying it. Buy why are they re-selling it so quickly? Or is Amazon operating true to form again? Are these prices simply meaningless? There was me wondering if The Wormton Lamb was doomed to a life of obscurity. This is just the beginning.

While I was competing in the Land's End Trial, The Wormton Lamb became available. I know the timing of my book becoming available should have been part of a finely co-ordinated promotional campaign involving lots of media interest and an attention grabbing launch party but that doesn't sound much fun to me. Leave that kind of thing to the professional book promoters who operate hand in glove with mainstream media. They're good at it and they've got it all sewn up. Your book is called "product". It's a production line and you fall off at the other end. My idea of fun is doing just what I've been doing - connecting to like minded souls whether they are motor sport enthusiasts, fans of artists I like or readers of my books. I have many other interests besides book promotion - writing is one of them for goodness' sake - and while some say I spread myself too thinly I view it as achieving the right balance. I enjoy doing it and I think I come ...

Every modern convenience on the Candidi Provocatores Allard J1.   My involvement in this year's Land's End Trial occurred at the 11th hour when my scrap buddy, Rob Robinson-Collins, suddenly found himself without a navigator. This was particularly disappointing because Rob had arranged to borrow the Candidi Provacatore Allard J1 from Roger Ugalde. Rumours soon abounded that Rob’s navigator had fled to the country at the prospect of writing in such an awe inspiring open top car. Some of my local trialling friends pointed out that Roger's nephews ran the principle undertaking business in Liskeard and there was even more ribaldry about my life expectancy. But I wasn't listening. Rob and I already had some minor trialling history with this car and for a couple of years we had campaigned the Cox-Triumph sidecar outfit. Team Robert were about to be reunited, even though according to the programme I was masquerading as Robert Hall -- that would have been Robert “Facom” Ha...

I discovered this book in the best way, by chance and through a personal recommendation. If I had not sat next to Peter Jenkin on the train and fallen into conversation with him he would never have told me about the book he was reading. It was the traction engine on the cover that caught my eye. Although I prefer the internal combustion engine, external combustion varieties - where the fuel is burnt outside the cylinders - still appeal tremendously. Railway locomotives may have a literary presence but road locomotives rarely feature in fiction of any sort, let alone sci-fi or fantasy. A pavane is a dance of Spanish origin popular around the time of Queen Elizabeth I and this story is divided into measures and a coda. Now, I know nothing about music but I know what I like and I quite like this musical example of a pavane. Not sure how you dance to it, though - probably too courtly and graceful for my usual enthusiastic outbursts of physical musical pleasure. Keith Roberts' ...

I'll post more about this when I've calmed done a bit/managed to get some sleep but... I had a great time with great weather, great people and great machinery. Rob soon got to grips with the vintage nature of Roger Ugalde's Allard and considering it was our first time out in a strange vehicle I say we did remarkably well even though we finished out of the awards. And it was brilliant fun! Thanks to Pete Cross (author of Shadows in the sky a great story for children about Cornish choughs)here is a video of our ascent of Blue Hills 2 - after failing to negotiate the corner just after the re-start box. Doesn't the Allard sound great?

Goff Imhof's competition Allard J1 This picture of a splendid old war horse basking in the sunshine at Wiscombe Park hillclimb back in 2008 defines the concept of Vintage Thing. The ghosts of many competition successes hang heavy on this Allard J1. Not many cars have been haunted by so many benign (petroleum) spirits. It started life as Geoffrey Imhof's works team car and he campaigned it vigorously in trails, rallies, hillclimbs and races until the powers that be decided Allards were a bit too successful. Never knowingly over-restored but extremely sympathetically maintained, it bears its history proudly and although some people may turn their noses up at its allegedly scruffy appearance, to me it is a thing of great and brutal appeal. To learn more about this car's illustrious history visit the Candidi Provacatore site here . For some years it's belonged to Roger Ugalde who still campaigns it in classic trials whenever he gets the chance. With a 3917cc (8...

I was back in Falmouth on Saturday for the Sham 69 gig at the Princess Pavilions . I was a student at the art school during 81/92 but don't remember this venue at all. The first time I ever visited this place was last year but it has a great atmosphere, is well-organised and the sound quality is good. (Photo from Sham 69 official website ) Support was from Distortion UK and The Surgeons . Distortion UK were just a bit too much thrash-metal band and disjointed for me but they can certainly play. And don't lack energy - I never thought I'd hear a faster version of Motorhead's Ace of spades but I have now. The Surgeons are a long established local punk band.I reckon they improve with hearing and they certainly went down well. Frontman Pete Kliskey said one song had already been performed in a support set for Sham 69 at a Penzance punk fest back in the 70s. Sham 69 did not disappoint. They rocked. And the appreciative crowd responded in kind. The set reminded me w...

I've just about got my voice back after a week. I'm still typing this in, though - my voice recognition software is a but "mazed" as we say round here. Stiff Little Fingers delivered the goods again at The Hippo last Friday (March 27th) and although I was succumbing to the snots I was determined to see them - that's SLF, not The Snots. It probably wasn't a very wise thing to do but when did common sense come into rock'n'roll. I wouldn't have missed it. Our party numbered about thirty in the end and we all met up beforehand in The Union Rooms on Union Street in Plymouth. As we approached The Hippo we could see groups of people being turned away. Many of them asked us if we had tickets. Fortunately, we did although my mate Martin, who came down from Exeter, must have got one of the last ones. He picked it up on the door and drew many envious glances. The Hippo has recently been refurbished but, to those who new it, it looked just the same. I...