Vintage Thing No.116 - Le Monster Mazda 323C

As bought

This is the Vintage Thing that burst its top hose on the way to Le Mans. It's my Monster Mazda that was renamed Le Monster Mazda in the expectation that it would get us there but it didn't. However, I've got into the habit of calling it that and the name has stuck. So have the L and the E that I've added to the Monster Energy drink logos down its flanks.

The home made bodykit made it look very heavy, especially from the rear

My involvement with Le Monster Mazda began with a long standing appreciation of the Mazda 323F that was made from 1995 to 1998 (check). These always struck me as a concept car that had somehow made it into production - later 323s are appallingly bland by comparison - and when I spoke to people who owned them they said they loved them. The engines were especially sweet and the best one of the lot from my piston-headed, Engine Punk standpoint was the V6.

So I did what any normal person would do. I put a search on Ebay for one and this thing turned up. Le Monster Mazda is a 3 door Mazda 323C fitted with 2 litre V6 from the 323F. Originally it would've had a 1.3 litre engine but these were only imported for about 18 months. I've been told that the introduction of the Ford Ka signalled their demise in the UK, as Ford has a substantial interest in Mazda. I was also fascinated to learn they were marketed in some countries as the Allegro!

I doubt this lasted very long. I'm sure somebody told them what a real Allegro was like eventually.

This is what it would've looked like when new (Photo : Wikipedia)

Le Monster Mazda was built by a Mazda technician for track day use but it had to go as he was getting divorced. Apparently, the build up contributed to the marriage break down - as his wife went out the door she said, "And another thing, if you hadn't spent so much time under that bloody car etc etc etc."

It wasn't just the engine and gearbox that went in, either. All the suspension, front and rear, complete with brakes and five stud wheels was swapped from the donor 323F. Even the instrument binnacle came across so that it reads the original mileage. It's a tight squeeze and a new cam belt kit went in before the engine was fitted.

I went up the train to Uckfield in east Sussex to get and when I got it home (after thoroughly enjoying it on the drive down) set about properly registering it. This proved more awkward than at first anyone had thought because the DVLA wanted me to tell them the engine number, which was hidden at the back of the engine tucked under the vee of the cylinders hard up against the bulkhead. I had the registration number of the donor 323F so they could've cross referenced this against the engine number on their computer but - no, it had to be in a letter form somebody in the motor business.

In the end I managed to take latex rubber moulding of the area and after many hours of making little dams of cardboard, pouring latex through tunes, being poured upon, getting liquid rubber out of what remains of my hair (I gave up on cleaning the clothes), I managed to get a strip of oily rubber from which I could just about make out the all important eight digit number.

I wasn't keen to keep the logo down the side at first. I'd never heard of Monster energy drink but people who are - er- down with the kids on the street, tole me it was dead trendy.

And when a balding, middle-aged man gets out of it, I can see the joke. Also, the matt black anti-radar paint is just a thin blow over and would probably come off with the lettering. So the logos have stayed.

Off come the skirts (Oh Matron!) The sill in front of the rear wheel had been hammered in to get a false air scoop to fit. I cut out the damaged and rusty metal and made a new sill repair. I also followed rust up into the wheel arch itself.

But the body kit had to go. The Imprezza side skirts grounded on sleep policemen and the rear bumper hit kerbs when I reversed into parking spaces. I took them off before they became broken off and found the original rear bumper lurking underneath. I also found expandable foam under the side skirts and some rust in the sills. I also made new sections for the rear wheel arches but matching the stain black paint was easy.

The original rear bumper looks a lot nicer in my opinion

Properly insured (at more than the multi-vehicle policy for the three others I have on the road) I began to use it in earnest but left the radiator cap off after checking the coolant level. It lost water and got hot and there was a time when I thought I'd killed it. Fortunately, this doesn't appear to be the case and with renewed confidence in my new toy's capabilities I took it to Wiscombe to watch the VSCC hillclimb and chose to take it to Le Mans for the 2012 Classic. However, the top radiator hose cried enough at weston Mill and we didn't make the ferry.

We came back on a recovery vehicle for the second time in a year. The AA man asked the same question again.

"Is this your son's car, sir?"

Since then, though, I've replaced all the coolant hoses. This cost about £180 and was very awkward, particularly the little one in the middle of the vee that goes under the lovely intake runners. I reasoned that if they were all the same age as the top rad hose, which had swollen to half its diameter again before giving up on me, then it wouldn't be too long before I'd be cheeked by some whipper snapper of a roadside repairman again.

I also found that some hoses were chafing against the modified bodywork so set about cutting this back a little further with my Dremel. Another job was to make new top rad mounts. These were missing due to clearance problems with the bonnet. In fact the bonnet, when shut, was the top mount but it still waggled about too much for my liking and I cunningly fashioned some new mounts before the ally radiator split from vibration.

It's going well again, now, and took me on am 850 mile round trip to the Peak District and back with negligible water usage.

I would like to hillclimb it but as it's so highly modified it'll need a roll cage before I can run it in Class C2 - Modified Series Production Cars over 1800cc. This would mean more expense and because its such a rare car in this country I would probably need a special one made. I don't use the back seat much so interior space is not so much of  a consideration but my insurance company would charge me more as a roll cage attracts a further premium. When I asked them why they said because it's a statement of intent.

I wonder if they apply this reasoning to all safety devices, like air bags, crumple zones and side protection bars?

So I'm pondering my next move in taking to the hills. The nearest track is Castle Combe and I've never been there.

Maybe I'll do a Run What Ya Brung and then stump up for the cage.

Meanwhile here's it's theme tune.