2016 Land's End Trial

Every garage should have one - a Ridge Cannon

When we snapped the offside driveshaft on the Candidi Provocatores Allard things looked bad for an entry in this year's Land's End. However, through the powers of social maxima, which is social media for larger than life characters, Lee Peck put me in touch with Brian Partridge.

Brian won his class on the Exeter while Binky and I were snapping things so there was no pressue for a new bouncer/navigator. Stuart Crouch was to have obliged as animated ballast but his wife snapped her Achilles tendon and he had to pull out. Regular Engine Punk browsers may remember Stuart and Will enabling us to start at Popham when our coil packed up. I am trying to present this substitution as partly returning that huge favour.

Binky, on the other hand, spent Easter at home for the first time in ages. I think Mrs Binky is okay about this. The scaffolding for the solar panels has been dismantled so he can get the Allard in its usual home and he's got planning permission for a splendid new motor house, which is just as well because the current one is so full of stuff the Allard just fits into it but there's nowhere to do stuff to it - like pull axles to bits. 

The resurrection of the old warhorse will now take place after Easter and Binkers has plans to make it even more new and improved in a retro techno stylee.

Anyway, back to the 2016 LET.

From the cockpit of a Ridge Cannon, the outlook is always bright

I feel I can now reveal that, having arranged with Brian not to let him down, before you could say "Oh matron!" I found myself under the nurse with a sore throat. This had started some 3 weeks ago and had heralded a truly horrible cold. As other symptoms subsided, my sore throat actually got worse and was so swollen at times that I found it difficult to breath, let alone swallow. I sought medical advice and was prescribed a steroid spray, which worked wonders on my old cat Billy when he had an inflamed throat but doubling my dose in line with the instructions on the packet brought me no respite.

With two days to go, I sought a second opinion. I saw the same nursing sister and she remembered that I was entered in a forthcoming motorsport event (I can only assume I enthuse about this sort of thing a lot to anybody) and she checked to see if I was running hot.

"When you cough anything up," she asked, "is it like Castrol 20/50 or the white heat resistant paste for insulating electronic ignition?"

I replied that it was more white than green and she seemed deeply heartened by this. 

She had a look at my tongue and asked me what letter of the alphabet denoted the high performance versions of Honda motorcars and with a closer look at the back of my throat enquired if I knew what sort of series flat twin BMW motorcycles were.

"You've got a very nasty virus," she told me. "Have you tried gargling TCP or honey and lemon?"

So I gargled everything including some ATF for good measure and not only did my throat feel a bit better but turning my head became a lot easier. By the morning of Good Friday, I felt a lot better.

At the holding control before Darracott - Cannon, Kraken and Dellow

I went up from Liskeard on the train to Didcot here I met Brian for the first time and his wife Dilys filled us up with high octane spag bol to boost our performance.

Brian is a seasoned competitor and had everything prepared. He's re-worked his Cannon extensively. I was a bit concerned about physically fitting into his car because I'd had a good look at Stuart's Cannon in the the 2009 LET. Fortunately, I do yoga and am quite flexible but if I was any longer in the leg I would've been in trouble on a long distance trial.

I'd never started from Cirencester before but there were still any familiar faces. I met Lee and Richard his prospective father-in-law who borrowed a bulb off Brian because a taillight had blown on his Kraken.

"As soon as you put numbers on a car, stuff starts failing," said Lee but fortunately scrutineering proved fairly stress free.

Here a spare tyre conference is in progress - Lee just caught a stone on the exit lane from Cutliffe and punctured his offside front.

We'd set off from Abingdon in brilliant sunshine but the weather forecast was grim. After getting cold and wet on the Exeter, I had worked out how to zip my Hein Gericke motorcycle suit together and invested not only in a bone dry Oxford oversuit but also a waterproof snood. 

The road miles to make the touring assembly took us all over the Cotswolds and north east Somerset before we arrived at Bridgwater control. Running as Number 132 (with Lee and Richard as 133) we were at the front of the cars only a few entries behind the redoubtable George Osborn and Celia Walton in the Reliant Rialtopless (VT No.120) who create something of a high watermark between the bikes and the cars that follow.

This year Popham was the next start point with the Plusha entries bringing up the rear so I saw Shani and Pete Adams and Julia and Pete Browne entered on their sidecars and also Marc Schafer and Eike Welk who were in their long-suffering Toyota Celica. As I have remarked before, TuV regulations prohibit any raising of cars to increase ground clearance so they use their bashplate a lot. That would put me off entering but not these guys - all the way from Bonn! 

The first section as usual was Felon's Oak and I was interested in Brian's tyre pressure regime. He uses his two spares as a high pressure reservoir that I inadvertantly tested to 100psi when I forgot to turn the compressor off when we were going along. He typically runs at about 16psi and the Cannon, being so much lighter than an Allard J1, doesn't handle badly even on the road at that pressure so we didn't have to stop so often before and after sections. He and Lee also had converted gas tap thingies with gauges attached so you could let air out after a long road section and see what the pressure was as you lowered it. It all made for a lot less kneeling down in the mud.

All the way from Blois in France, were Jacques Veyer and Felicien Guillaume in their Rover V8 powered AHS. Here it is at Widemouth Control, looking a little muddy having been pulled out of a section by fellow Class O competitor Lee Sample.

The Felon's Oak restart posed no problems for Brian and, all the way to Barbrook, the dark sky was a starry one and we cleared Beggar's Roost and Riverton without any problems. We continued to make good time so that when we arrived at Sutcombe, full with the prospect of cake, it was still dark - a first for me. The restart looked rough in our headlamps although Brian got away without any difficulty. I was having an easy ride but the tea and fruit cake tasted wonderful nevertheless.

I hope the mud didn't put them off - I would like a closer look at this car on another trial

On the way to Cutliffe Lane we had to make way for an ambulance for a motorcyclist had broken his leg. The weather was starting to turn for the worse but the heavy rains forecast was still holding off. I had to work a bit for the first time on Cutliffe and it felt great to blast up the section. Lee cleared it too but gashed a front sidewall on the exit track. He and Richard put a spare on but these were rears and so of a wider section. It made an appreciable difference to his steering so he hatched a plan to replace the tube at the next control.

Neat Kawasaki GPZ500 combo of  Tony Mogford and Steven Brown

At Darracott we found the Class O French crew of Jacques Veyer and Felicien Guillaume in their Rover V8 powered AHS. I pay tribute to teams who can follow the route cards when Engleish is not their mother tongue. It can catch me out and I've been doing this sort of thing for years. The easiest thing was for them to follow us up the section to the next control at Widemouth where the main trial and Class O routes converged again. 

Lee works some magic with his tyre levers while Brian stretches his legs

It was getting windy at Widemouth Bay and Lee changed his tube. He made it look easy. Whenever I used to try it, I always managed to trap the tube so haven't tried for years. He said the trick is not to be greedy so maybe I don't have the right personality. He fed the tube in and did the valve last using a little screw in do-dad with some wire on it to pull the valve through the rim. He bought some super glue in Bude and cleaned up the gashed side wall and reinforced it insde with a patch of old tube. Then he worked his tyre irons with the sleight of hand of a magician and there it was - fixed.

Somewhere I have an old photo of this car fresh from restoration at the foot of Crackington. It's been trialled extensively since then and still looks good - the 1600 Dellow of Eric Wall and Howard Stephens

Among the Class O entrants at Widecombe, I bumped into Lee Sample and Matt Robson in their Rickman Ranger. After giving their car a battering in the Exeter, they were back in Class O but that hadn't stopped them towing the French guys out of a section and covering their car liberally in mud. Lee had a go at Blue Hills 2 later on, cleared it and was suitably euphoric.  

A small queue at Crackington

At Crackington I saw my cousin John and his wife Lisa. They'd just moved to Cornwall reversing the Cornish diaspora that had happened a few generations before so this was their first Land's End. It almost goes past their house! We got a little bit bedraggled chatting to them as the air got moister. The hill had been doctored after a few years when it hadn't seemed too bad and as we were in Class 8 we had a re-start. It felt rough pretty much from the start line and once stopped in the restart box, where there the clay over the stones was about a foot deep, we simply couldn't get going again. Some shouts from the crowd told us why - we had a near side rear puncture. I think it had happened as we got away at the bottom of the hill. It would explain the noticeably rougher ride. We had to be towed out and then drove up to the road the chnage the wheel. Lee and Richard soon joined us and they couldn't get away either, which made us feel a bit better. Up to that point, nobody had managed a successful restart but eventually Neal Vile did it in his Fugitive.

However, one success story from Crackington was the (pre-1941) Class 2 climb made by Bill and Liz Bennett in their blown MG J2. They were just behind us in their well-used yet immaculate car and we didn't have to ask how they'd got on - their shining faces said everything.

The beautiful blown MG J2 of Bill and Liz Bennett just before ascending Crackington.

At the Wilsey Down control the weather was really bad. We passed our noise test but the marshal in charge looked frozen to the marrow. Stephen Bailey in his MG Midge (VT Mo.139) had suffered some punctures that featured sidewall damage on both sides of the tyres as if a screw driver had been driven through them and was out of the running. We had a full breakfast and marvelled at the fact that it was actually breakfast time - we were still that early despite a small queue at Crackington. Usually I have some sort of nap at this control but I still felt fairly spry and was still probably making sense at this stage.  

And so on to Cardinham Woods and the challenge of Laneskin and Hoskin. Laneskin foxed Binky and me last year as we ground out on the final ridge just within touch - or so it seemed - of the section ends boards. It's a great blast and Brian had his death or glory trousers on all the way up. The ruts were deep and wandered widely so in our light little car we were thrown of course quite a bit but I gather from Adrian Booth who was on recovery that we made one of the faster ascents. There is a very sharp bend at the top and Brian had to judge exactly when to throttle back if we weren't to run into the bank. 

Hoskin with its restart was a bête noire for both crews but this year Brian and Lee both got away without any difficulty. Technically, we could have put in for a baulk for, after setting  off, we found the blue Dellow of Steve Lister being turned on the hill to come back down. Consequently, cleaning Hoskin was especially sweet.

At a fuel stop in Bodmin, Lee pointed out that one of our rear tyres was going flat. This tyre was only along the bottom but we changed it for a rounder one in preparation for Bishop's Wood where Class 8 have to negotiate an especially difficult restart. We slid off sideways instead of going forward but Lee and Richard managed it. Apparently, the exit track proved impassable for some successful competitors although sidecarists like Shani and Pete and Julia and Neil relished the wild ride. 

The drive down to Newquay and then Perranporth seemed much longer than normal. The storm had set in and visibility was poor. Brian drove by using his ESP.

After a rain-soaked trip down the A30 to Blue Hills, the Liege of Dick & Sally Glossop looks remarkably clean

By now, I was beginning to find the limitations of the Cannon's ergonomics. The backs of my heels had become very sore where they rested on the floor and there wasn't any room to move them around. The seat was also very narrow and the prop tunnel jutted into my hip where my body armour stopped. Whenever the opportunity arose, I would leap out and have a walk about.

Lay some rubber! The Class O re-start at Blue Hills looked hard. The Suzuki X-90 of Clive Cooke and Syd Mark in action - but did it get away?

Brian was on form at Blue Hills 1 but Lee got overtaken by some slightly late running bikes and we didn't see him until signing off. He had a funny five minutes on BH1 and matched us with two failures but we both managed Blue Hills 2 and its restart box. 

The crowds at Blue Hills were noticeably smaller than usual and when we passed the carpark on the way out it looked empty. 

This year there was no Warleggan with its tricky restart (hurrah!) but there was a new final hill after Blue Hills called Old Stoney down near Mawla. We cleared that and made for the finish at Connor Downs at which point the sun came out. We'd actually enjoyed much better weather than had been expected but it had been grim at times. It stayed dry all the way to our accommodation at The Bugle Inn.

Stance works

I could have gone back to my place but as the room was already booked and they were such a convivial bunch I stayed with them. My sore throat had come back but I had anticipated this by bringing some Beecham powders to gargle. I don't think I was making much sense by the time we finished and, although I perked up a bit over the evening meal, it was so easy to fall asleep in a bunk bed!

Over a full English the following morning, we agreed what a great trial it had been. It was certainly challenging and the heavy weather made conditions really tricky and abnormally tiring. Although the opportunity to crew with such guys may not happen again, I thoroughly enoyed myself. I am content to be a passenger as one of the Candidi Provocatores because I am more of a builder than a wrecker and I remember that many triallers reckon that you have to forget about your car if you're serious about trialling. The Allard is purpose built and seems indestructible - mostly!

Class 8 dudes from left to right - Brian Partridge, Richard Storry and Lee Peck. I'm that Candid Provocateur on the right.

However, having seen what a Class 8 special can do in skilled hands, and how well they can take the conditions of a classic trial within their stride, I would like to have a drive myself in one someday. 

In our post event ramblings, Lee mentioned he was getting married in a few weeks and I said that I had never ever been on a stag weekend. they seem barbaric to me and full of mean spirited tricks performed on some inebriated person by his so-called mates. I am quite happy to have avoided that sort of thing.

Anyway, Lee decided that the 2016 LET would be his stag do! So now I have been on one. It was bloody great! Why don't more betrothed types do this?

I thoroughly enjoyed it and reckon he should commit matrimony more often.

Lee and Richard head home on the A30 (and they are not singing "Show me the way to go home...")