2023 Land's End Trial

And we're off, with a Mexican (or Illogan) wave (Photo : Sam Barker)

I was really looking forward to the 99^th Land’s End Trial for 2023, 21 observed sections and 4 special tests sounded really good, with Class O machinery mixed in with the main trial. This was an especially enticing prospect after getting a Gold last year. Did I ever casually mention I got a Gold last year? 

After getting around half the Launceston Trial, the Arkley-MG was running well, having been a non-starter for the Exeter in January.

Binky motored down on Friday in the arvo and we set off for Plusha for in plenty of time for a yarn to two before the off scrutineering only to discover we had no working offside rear sidelamp. The harder we looked, the shyer the sidelamp became and then the brake lamps became all coy and went and hid as well.

Adrian Booth waved us over to his Land Rover and he produced a circuit tester like the one I’d left at home and Matt Robson joined in with his meter as well. We soon found that the bulbs were okay but the root of the problem remained elusive. Matt noticed some of the rear loom had touched the zorst at some point and Age had a lot to say about replacement stop lamp switches, none of it positive.

Typical Good Friday parking at Plusha. L to R, the Keat's lovely Avenger, the Troll of Russell Clarke and the TR3 of Phil Tucker (Photo : Sam Barker)

Matt goosed the sidelamp into action with a new wire from the towing bracket socket and Adrian doused the plunger on the stop lamp switch with Duck Oil until submitted, in a kind of torture by lubricating fluid.

With the scrutineers finally satisfied, my buddies stood down, and we got a little blue “PASS” chit to present to the starting marshals. Only then could we get our starting numbers. By now we were a bit pushed for time so couldn’t do our socialising thing with our fellow competitors. Also, my mate Sam Barker had swung by on his way back home with his daughters so I couldn’t catch up with him and the restoration of his Lancia Flaminia – a future Vintage Thing if ever there was one.

When it came to showing our MSUK cards I could only show part of the saved image for some reason. Binky had the same problem but at least he had an old card. Eventually, we managed to get sufficient signal to pull back our confirmatory emails but it was hassle we could have done without.

As the shadows lengthen, I hurry to take my place in the queue for the start. Binky strolls nonchalantly over (Photo : Sam Barker)

We had to set off straight away but Sam Barker and his daughter, Amber, managed to give us a Mexican wave between the two of them. (I heard Mexican waves began in Illogan and were exported to Mexico by Cornish miners so maybe it was an Illogan wave).

After all that drama the moonlit drive to Bridgwater was almost restful. At the route check, Rick Howell said how shiny the car was after I’d polished it and it felt like we had headlamps following us, the not-quite-full moon was that bright.

On the gate at Bridgwater we were disappointed to meet Kent Crashby, or Roger to his friends. He’d had the most serene pre-event prep for his entry only to have the indicators go AWOL on his Marlin. “So, if I had to be a non-starter, I thought I’d come along and help out.”

After our tricky electrons earlier, I could relate entirely. He was doing so well in the Coates Orthoptera (Vintage Thing No.155) on the Launceston trial, too.

I had a very pleasant curry for a fiver and we were just tucking in when Binky said he’d noticed “a bit of an oil leak” on the inside of the nearside rear tyre. A little oil can go an awfully long way but in our headtorches it was rather thought-provoking. Anyway, we set off roughly in running number order with Patrick Shaw and Gill Sanders in their MX5 and Nigel and Nicola Martin-Oakley in their Saab 95.

Nigel Cowling on the start at Plusha exchanges ribaldry with Nigel and Nicola Martin-Oakley (Photo : Sam Barker)

Nigel had also recently benefitted from Adrian Booth’s input on his Saab. This car now has an electric power steering system (tricky on a car with column gearchange) and a progressive limited slip diff, which Nigel said was noisy around town but most effective on the hills.

Felon’s Oak always looks rough in our headlamps and there was already a fair amount of rubber laid down even though we were the 21^st car in the main trial. We got away from the restart but the handbrake was playing up. Oil must have been getting inside the rear drums.

Once back on the road, I pulled up at a dusty tee junction and the front wheels locked up in a long slide. The rear brakes weren’t contributing to prevent progress when required. From then on, I adjusted my driving to use the engine braking as much as possible but the front brakes seemed to be doing all the work.

The next section was Porlockford, a new one to me. We couldn’t find it. The route book said turn left opposite the entrance to Porlock Vale House and follow track. We had a choice of three, one of which was a metalled road and didn’t look like a track. The unmetalled one we took went off up into the hills somewhere and with a growing sense of doubt we decided to retrace our steps if we could turn around.

Once we’d manged that, the descent was worse. The handbrake, no doubt influenced by the earlier behaviour of the sidelamp and stop switch, decided to no longer play a part on our glorious struggle.

Descending in low gear felt too fast, especially as the track was steep and winding. In the dark, Binky helped to shine his head torch left and right where we thought we had to retrace our way up. I had to use some brake but the rears were now inoperative on the foot brake as well as the handbrake. If I touched the foot brake, the front wheels just locked up and then steering became a matter of faith instead of effective human intervention.

Then we met oncoming traffic. This was Pat and Gill who’d been struggling their way up behind us! Apparently they’d followed us but the going was so bad they hadn’t very far. They managed to turn around, too, and we went back to the foot of the hill and reviewed our options.

At Plusha, Adrian Booth's wonderfully patinated V8 Land Rover was on its way up to Sutcombe to act as recovery vehicle (Photo : Sam Barker)

We decided to try the metalled road for a bit. That eventually came to a crossroads where bridlepaths were marked but without any MCC-style red for right or blue for left markers, or even a friendly white circle for straight on.

Another consultation period followed regarding road choices and appeals to higher authorities to give us a sign. We began to around to re-trace our steps again but this was interrupted by a convoy of cars emerging out of the valley behind us. 

A friendly Troll pulled up with Alastair Moffat at the wheel. He tried What Three Words and – after his predictive text let him enter the right three words – we were directed to where we’d turned off at Porlock Vale House. What we lacked, as well as route markers or arrows, was the What Three Words combo for the actual section.

In the end, Alastair set off to check out the lefthand track at the crossroads and after about ten minutes he came back down again to say he’d found what we’d all been looking for! Top banana! Sure enough, after a further foray into the wilderness he led us to the section. 

This episode reminded me of my first ventures into long distance trials when I did not know the route and finding any section was an adventure but, back then the red-for-right, blue-for-left and white-for-straight-on markers were there for the initiated to find at every turning. 

Unfortunately, Alastair's Troll got hot and developed a misfire and had to rest awhile to cool off but at least they completed the trial, which is more than we did.

We mentioned the difficulty we'd had finding Porlockford to the start line marshals and they nodded and said, they'd had trouble finding it, too! We agreed to provide constructive feedback on route marking later on.

When it was our turn to climb Porlockford, I couldn’t hold the car even on the hydraulic handbrake and stalled the engine trying not to run back on the restart.

We fought our way out of the section and proceeded slowly to Barbrook for fuel, tea and cake. Coming down Countisbury Hill, I used engine braking as much as I could . Fortunately the roads were dry and clean so the front wheels didn't lock up too easily. By now, we were already well over an hour late. The original plan here was to queue strictly in running order but that would have only added to delays. For instance, a slow puncture at the village hall developed into a very fast one by the time we got to Beggar’s Roost and keeping people waiting while we changed it seemed unnecessary.

Fortunately, we have the special hydraulic jack in the Arkley-MG. Binky was frankly astounded by its ease of use. I was certain he’d seen it before but he swore we’d never had to change a wheel on the Arkley-MG before now!

We got away from the start but the restart was a disaster. We slithered back a whole car length with barely any brakes. Applying the foot brake just locked up the front wheels and we had no steering. That decided it. We pulled off our numbers and went home via the A39.

Anthony Brown and Leah Tokelove made it to the top of BH2 on their CCM outfit

That was not entirely the end of our LET for 2023.

Adventure bikes have room for passengers in the panniers. KTMs of Rory Hill and Andrew Jones 

We spectated at Blue Hills and after a very good burger watched the bikes coming up. By now it was midday but the bikes were very strung out and quite out of running order. Many of the riders looked physically very tired. We saw a few good climbs off Blue Hills 2 but noticed the restart box was below a pronounced ridge in the stone surface and that caught a few out.

Patrick Lloyd-Jacob clears BH1 on his Triumph

Binky used to ride a Triumph Trophy and before that a Cotton and a Greeves. He reckoned many bikes were geared too highly and weren’t taking enough air out of their tyres.

George Osborn and Celia Walston were in fine form  in the Super Robin (Vintage Thing No.165) on BH1

We strolled down to Blue Hills 1 and had plenty of time to chat to Chris Hickling. “It’s not normally this busy,” he quipped.

Binky wants a Transalp. Matthew Bowring was riding his well on BH2

The trick with the Class O and R restart was stay wide and keep low. Martin Neal in his MG TA picks a good line.

While we waited for the competitors in the main trial to come through, Class O and Class R entries came through to attempt their restart on the steepest part of the hairpin bend on metalled road. Not may got away.

Brian Courage and Alison Daniels on their Wasp outfit got away from the stone setts

Our favourite cars in Class R were Bill Rosten in his Anzani-powered GN and the Frazer Nash of Jane Arnold-Foster.

Brian Hampson and Dave Turner almost manage BH1

The stone setts on BH1 were dry this year. Despite the recent wet weather, there was no large puddle to drive through. However, not many got away. On the outside edge there was a small gulley and that caught a few out.

Bill Rosten's gorgeous GN was his father's. Fraser Nash behind was also in Class R

Best car we saw climb BH1 was Lewis Ranger in his BMW Z3. He just blasted it right off the line but still made the tight turn.

The incident with Ian Moss' hat

Phil "Mr MX5" Brooking was passengering Peter Hall in his MX5 but they were struggling to get away from the restart box. Peter was waggling his steering and Phil was headbanging away when Ian Moss lost his hat in the breeze. It landed right in front of Peter’s nearside tyre! We had a terrible dilemma. Cheer for the crew, or shout to save a very natty hat. In the end, the hat survived unscathed. When Ian retrieved it, there wasn’t even any mud on it.

Model A Ford looks great in infra red black and white mode

I saw Sam Lindsay and Jon Moores at BH1. Jon had cracked the steering box on his Zetec-powered MG J2, which surprised me because it was in fine form on the Launceston two weeks earlier. Sam’s UVA had developed a gearbox oil leak but that was okay – he’d lined up a well-prepped Marlin for himself to become a two-trials car family all by himself. However, on the way to Popham start the MGB engine in the Marlin blew a head gasket. Undaunted he’d come down any way to see dad Kevin compete.

Torque and narrow tyres make for good traction

We also saw Nigel Cowling, fresh from marshalling at Crackington, with a pannier an Armstrong motorcycle had left behind. We learned that Darracott, Wargery and Cutliffe Lane had been cancelled.  Darracott was particularly unfortunate as a motorcyclist had sustained a broke leg and a car driver had suddenly been taken ill. Orange at one point was blocked by a car and had to be scratched as well, later on.

BH1 was almost too tight for the Chevy-Suiza

Best car in the main trial was undoubtedly the Swiss Chevrolet (Suiza-Chevy?) of Daniel Sauter and Hans-Martin Schneeberger. They’d had it sign written especially for the event and many people thought it was too large to fit down the lanes. 

1938 Chevrolet Business coupe looks the business

It got wedged in the tight banks of BH1 but after some jiggery pokery got going again and stormed up the granite sets and even made the tight turn to avoid the bank on exit.

And around it goes, somehow avoiding the bank

By now it was 1730hrs and we had booked a meal at the Penhale Round. We began to make our way back up the hill to the car park but found that the Chevy had stopped just below the apex of the chicane on BH2. This had been cut into the bank much more severely than last year and caught many people out even before the restart.

We also found Lee Sample. He’d set out with a BSA Bantam but that had thrown off its gear-lever in a fit of pique. Fortunately, Phil Brooking came to the rescue with a spare he could lend and Roger Ashby from Kent brought another one to Bridgwater. Lee had made an ugly but effective repair, in the meantime. However, the Bantam's electrical system packed up soon after starting so, as he was a house guest of Team Robson anyway, Lee headed west to spectate and ended up with a ring side seat to the recovery operation on the Chevy.

Hooray, up she rises, er lie in the evening! Someone should compose long distance trails shanties for the marshals to sing

The Chevrolet proved too heavy for the winch so the JCB came down to give a pull on its back hoe. By this means, the Chevy slowly came over the apex of the chicane, as opposed to around it, and – to cheers – the Swiss crew made a stately ascent before all their new admirers.

We tried hard to leave but kept bumping into old friends. Dennis Greenslade had been advising the Swiss crew on their entry so we had a chat with him and Sherree Tonkin. Then Simon Oates appeared with his Liege, nonchalantly admitting under close questioning that he’d probably climbed everything successfully.

We also saw Roger Ugalde loitering by the car park. He asked Binky about the Candidi Provocatores Allard and if it would be in 100^th event. Binky, in a fit of enthusiasm, assured Roger that it would be back on the hills next year! So there.

We caught up with many others at The Penhale Round, including Bill Rosten, Caroline Ugalde and – at last – our running mates from earlier, Pat and Jill. This was Pat’s first LET so they’d done well to even finish.

A post mortem on the Arkley-MG has revealed that both axle seals leaked and that there is a tightening and loosening of the axle shafts as we turn them by hand. This suggests a diff problem or possibly an out of true axle casing. I have booked it in with Wicked Uncle Adrian for further investigation (he’s not my uncle and he’s mostly benign) so will report back dreckly once we know more.

Notchiness while turning the shaft suggest a diff problem and/or the axle is bent again. Can't think how...