100th Land's End Trial 2024

For some of us, disco dancing is a way of life (Photo : Sally Livsey)

My Arkley-MG was mechanically compromised by our success on the 2024 Exeter Trial. After sorting out the knackered Transit diff with help from Adrian Booth, Dave Ball and Martin Matthews, I replaced the Sierra front wheel bearings and substituted 1500 Midget front springs for the bespoke ones Ray Goodwright had commissioned some twenty years ago, it felt like my car was match fit. Maybe.

Graham Beddoe had graciously agreed to bounce and navigate and we set off nice and early for our start at Launceston Rugby Club on Good Friday evening. After scrutineering, chinwags with our trialling family and a very tasty burger, we set off in the wrong direction but soon got back on track. 

"Let's get down to this next number." (Photo : Sally Livsey)

On our way to Bridgwater, I recalled a few niggles from my pre-event prep. Just before the start, dipped headlamps were an occasional no show. A few days before that, the Arkley-MG had spat back through its Dell Ortos and set fire to its Pipercross air filter, covering the wiring loom in melted foam. The two incidents might be related but I chose to regard the loom as extra insulated if a little sooty. The lighting switch looked like it had been getting hot but, after some successful waggling produced a bijou spark-ette in the dashboard gloom, I found some loose contacts on the column switch. I applied some solder and a high melting point cable tie and assumed the slightly melted plastic of the switch was down to the arcing.

The night section would prove if my theory was right. The light switch should now be cool, real cool, about everything.

Also, the new springs were noticeably more jiggly on the road. Standard MG 1500 springs are 271 lb/in. Springcoil in Sheffield had confirmed the old ones were softer at 220 lb/in but proper job new ones wouldn’t be ready in time for Easter. I broke one spring spacer in swapping springs. Ray said he remembered Adrian had made some out of diesel engine pistons some twenty years ago and – sure enough – I could see grooves for piston rings in some of them. This time Adrian span me up another one out of some ally plate, the original source of the pistons having been lost in the mists of time.

Good looking car park at Launceston Rugby Club on Good Friday (Photo : Graham Beddoe)

I wondered if the new and undesirable stiffness of the front suspension might affect our performance on the rough stuff.

On the other hand, the replacement Transit diff, out of a rusty smiley camper, was noticeably much quieter on the road.

Anyway, we only lost dipped beam once at some traffic lights on the 94 miles to Bridgwater. A judicious finger prod stopped any more sparks and the Arkley-MG refrained from setting light to its new air filter whenever we started it as well.

Due to an over-enthusiastic administrative error, this year we were running as part of Team Inappropriate. In fact Team Inappropriate had grown like Topsy to six, three bike entrants – Lee Sample and Ollie Brookes on Honda CRF300s with Alan Wibberley on a CRM250 – and three car entrants – Roger Ashby in Vintage Thing No. 155 the Coates Orthoptera, the Robson family in their Rickman Ranger and Graham and me in the “Noddy goes trialling” Arkley-MG.

I warned them that including me in any sort of team was usually the proverbial kiss-of-death but that qualified me even more for Team Inappropriate.

Lovely ohc MG M-type of Derek and Elspeth Chatto at the Launceston start (Photo : Graham Beddoe)

We caught up with Binky at Bridgwater time control. Joining him the first time in the Candidi Provocatores Allard for was Algy, otherwise known as Guy Jobling. They’d tried to give a friendly toot to their loved ones on departure and then lost some lights just in time for scrutineering. However, some more friendly prods and scientific waggling of wires brought everything back to life and satisfied the scrutineers.

The weather was far better than forecast as we set off. We saw a few cars parked up with problems. Simon Riddle in his Dutton Melos had a puncture on the road and Mark James had some electrical gremlins with his V8 Marlin, recently purchased from Gareth White.

The moon almost blazed down on us at Felon’s Oak. There was a queue and we were intrigued to see a 71 plate Kia Picanto coming back down having failed the section. This car turned out to be part of Kia’s press fleet with Johnny Smith from The Late Brake Show behind the wheel.

This was Grahams’s first Land’s End Trial and he was impressed by how rough Felon’s Oak looked in our headlamps, even though Class O were to attempt it. We didn’t have a restart this year and negotiated the section without any probs although Caroline Ugalde told us later she’d had a puncture on her Beetle.

More road miles took us into Exmoor National Park. Webber’s Park control and Observed Section 2 at Cloutsham were deserted due to a lack of marshals.

This year’s entry for the 100^th Land’s End was one of the biggest for years. I think everyone wanted to be in this year’s event and those who usually marshalled might have been behind the wheels of old machinery for the big anniversary.

Extra thanks should therefore be given to those who marshalled this year allowing the trial to take place at all.

At Stoke Pero we had to start at Line A and coast against the clock in neutral to stop astride Line B. This was rapidly followed by Pool Bridge handbrake test, where we had to hold the car on the slope just using the handbrake.

As soon as we pulled up for the handbrake test, all lights went out and the engine stopped. Unable to restart, the marshals directed us to roll back down the hill out of the way of following competitors. I jumped out and went straight to the boot. Somehow the battery isolator switch had cut all supply. This was against the law of gravity. I can only assume something in the boot had knocked it forward as we stopped uphill.

I re-arranged the tools, jack and tyre inflator and hoped this didn’t happen again when we pulled up for a restart box later in the trial.

County Gate car park control was deserted again – presumably due to a shortage of marshals – but Barbrook was buzzing at the time control and refreshment stand.

Vintage Thing No 78 was one of three Imps in the trial this year (Photo : Graham Beddoe)

Marshals on the approach to Beggars Roost asked us to be particularly quiet this year following complaints from local residents and we found ourselves behind the 71-plate Kia Picanto again. Re-badged as a Kia Cant, the crew were now getting into the swing of things and did not come back down Beggars Roost as we expected. Beggars Roost is a Class O hill these days but we had a restart, which was okay, and enjoyed the Christmas lights and commemorative banner with which they flag off competitors.  

We put our tyres back up to 30psi compared to the regulatory minimum of 12psi for the observed sections. I contemplated reducing tyre pressures for Observed Section 4, Barton Steep, where we had another restart but this was a tarmac section for Class O and we didn’t have any problems on road pressures.

We reduced them again for Riverton though. This was also a Class O hill and for 2024 we approached the observed section from the south of the North Devon Link Road so no blipping of throttles in the tunnel under the A361. By now it was getting light. Riverton started off as a curious mixture of liquid mud over harsh rock steps. After some crashing and banging after the start, we took a hard left turn and then climbed up to the dry restart box on a bend for Classes 7 & 8. We got away okay and toiled up out of the section.

So far, we’d had the hood up because if we hit any standing water this could come right over the windscreen.  Depending on our speed. There were significant puddles everywhere and the public roads to Sutcombe were in a terrible state. The route card carried warnings in capitals to beware potholes. After avoiding even more assisted passages to Australia, we joined the end of the queue for Sutcombe on an unmade lane smoother than the highways we’d just used to get there.

When the traffic shuffled forward next, we heard V8s fore and aft. Behind us was Mark James in his V8 Marlin but ahead of us was Binky in his Allard J1. The Allard’s offside front mudguard had wilted since we’d last seen them. They’d taken pity on it and retired it to the spares locker.  Apart from that they were running well.

Fenderless Vintage Thing No. 45

The river at Sutcombe was quite deep but the restart posed us no problems and we enjoyed the meal deal in the village of a bacon bap, cake and tea for a fiver.

After some very bumpy approach tracks to Gooseham control, we descended cautiously into Darracott. This year we had no restart and negotiated the switchbacks and camber changes. At the top, pumping up our tyres, we saw Caroline Ugalde and David Higgs. The driver’s seat in her Beetle had broken free, severely compromising any control of the pedals. They’d managed to wedge the seat forward with a spare wheel. I found a very beefy safety tie in our boot and they managed to scrounge some more and continued to proceed.

Wargery Wood was a new section to me, very stony with a restart and a rough and rutted hairpin. I didn’t pick a good line on the hairpin, turning in too soon, but my little car shrugged that mistake off and we got away from the restart line without struggling.

I appeased Graham with some sunblock and we drove on with shades and the top down for a bit but the weather soon turned and a tyre went flat. From inside the car with the hood up, Graham timed me at seven minutes changing the tyre in the rain but I got a little wet. That hydraulic ram for a jack isn’t just for extra ballast.

Enjoying the meal deal at Sutcombe

We filled up in Bude and trundled on to control at Widemouth, musing on the correct Cornish pronunciation. As our Cornish countryman stress the second syllable, we decided on Wid Em Outh. We’d been calling Bridgwater Brid Gwat Er for some time already. After spectacular coastal roads we turned into Mineshop for Crackington.

We’d been consistently running at the permitted minimum tyre pressure of 12psi and continued with that for Crackington. Crackington started off stony but then get very muddy as it flattened off with some shelves to the underlying rock. I kept speed up and we crashed over the steps but in reflection I could probably have taken the hill at less speed and let the car do its thang. Making sure we stopped at the stop line, we exchanged ribaldy with Nigel Cowling and his team to emerged at the top with a very fast slow puncture.

Team Robson brief Graham on progress so far

This was most thought-provoking. Now we had no other spares in reserve. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have driven the car so hard to get over the bumps on Wargery Wood and Crackington. Either that, or I should have taken a leaf out of Pat Shaw’s trials notebook. In the queue for Sutcombe, he’d explained he runs at 20psi everywhere and rarely gets a flat. Certainly we hadn’t lacked grip so far.

The rear wheels had a new noise as well. I put it down to grit in the rear hubs. The brakes were still okay so, in the spirit of travelling hopefully, we carried on.

Graham qizzes Pat Shaw about tyre pressures. Apparently, Gill gets so travel sick she's doped up on pills but doesn't get lost.

The start marshal at Crackington told us Warleggan had been closed. We heard various rumours about the incident that caused this and once we’d got to Wilsey Down, we had another route amendment.

I have never managed yet to get off a restart on Warleggan. In 2022, when I got my first Gold award on the LET, we didn’t have a restart there. If we had, I reckon it would have been a Silver. For 2024, we would have a restart for our class so I had mixed feelings about it being abandoned.

The special test at Tresparrett Posts was the classic MCC timed test where, from a standing start on line 'A', you cross over with all wheels beyond line 'B', reverse back with all wheels over line 'B' before driving forward to stop astride line 'C'. As Uncle Adrian was marshalling here, we were on our best behaviour. At least I could tell him we’d had punctures so were obviously trying.

 

I discussed the tyre situation with Graham over an all-day breakfast at Wilsey Down. If we got another puncture we’d be out of the trial. 

The lovely Frazer Nash Interceptor of David Leigh and Mark Powley

 

A plan emerged while we chatted to some survivors of Team Chaingang. We’d seen some of their compadres along the way. Apparently one of them had bent a front axle but they assured us bending it back again was feasible.

 

I intended to conserve our tyres by not going in so hard on the bumpy bits. We also chose to run with higher tyre pressures as grip seemed to be sufficient so far despite some very muddy sections.

 

If we had a puncture, we’d have to retire but if we retired, we could ask for outside help. That help, if needed, might come from the lovely Sally.

 

I messaged her and she hadn’t left home. Relatively new to trialling, she was planning to spectate at Blue Hills. I directed her to some spare wheels in the garage and – bless her – she heaved them into the boot of her car and set off, the two wheels acting as talismans or insurance against further punctures – we hoped.

The sensational 5.2 litre GN Vitesse of Tom Thornton and R Burnside

By now we were about an hour late and the nature of the trial had changed. It was raining heavily as we left Wilsey Down and I was starting to look forward to finishing.

 

The sun came out for Ruses Mill. This isn’t far from where I live but was completely unknown to me. It looked lovely in the spring sunshine.

 

The observed section was on tarmac with a restart. Combined with Barton Steep, I was left wondering what the point was especially if marshals were in short supply. Part of the point could be to give Class O and Class R a little something to do but I didn’t think they were appropriate for the main trial.

 

Graham played a blinder on the special test at Ruses Mill. He checked and double checked the instructions for the timed test and then made sure I understood there would be no line C! We started at line A and stopped astride line B and that was it. Sneaky – and aimed at experienced but tired competitors who were familiar with typical MCC timed special tests.

Ruses Mill is lovely

Panters Bridge was a holding control before Warleggan and deserted but we already knew to proceed to Mount and then pick up the route from there.

Eddy’s Branch Line was new for 2023 and new to me for 2024. Close to the Camel Trial, this line went north east to connect with Delabole (De Lab Olé) and the world beyond.

Unfortunately, the queue here was prodigious. Nothing seemed to be happening down in the railway cutting. The field we parked in was very slippery and getting back out again began to look unlikely. The only way out was forward. From the queue we looked down onto the bridge that took the section over the old trackbed. Just after the start was a 180 degree hairpin covered in mud and many people had trouble getting away. Eddy’s Branch Line was a Class O hill, too, and there were many motorcyclists still waiting to attempt it even when we turned up.

In the end they let the waiting bikes off in a big group, like birds released from their cages, and then we saw Darren and Ashley Ruby take the section with customary gusto. They shot up into the trees but then we heard the engine peaking out at the top. The next competitor was then baulked as the section was blocked.

The Barbrook Bunch plot their escape from Eddy's Branch Line

After at least an hour’s wait a group from the queue set off with a travelling marshal for Blue Hills, worried that if they didn’t get there by 1900hrs they’d miss the ultimate trials experience on the LET.

Then the organising team made the decision to turn away the Class O cars from Eddy’s Branch Line. Things started to move after that but we were well over two hours late by that stage.

We revised our tyre strategy as we slowly went under the bridge towards the start. Rumours abounded about conditions at the top. Apparently, it had been dug out recently to make it more “interesting”. I took the tyres back down 12psi. It seemed grip would be critical.

We saw Liam Hartley who was marshalling on the lower section and he said it was proving too difficult for those without much trialling experience.

“They should line it up first before booting it,” he said.

After solving running problems on the approach to Crackington, Andrew Green and David Full cropped up ahead of us in their Liege in the queue for Eddy's Branch Line

So I tried that on the first hairpin but didn’t quite manage it. My little car rose to the occasion again, however, and heaved itself out of the mud, shook itself straight and whizzed us up to the tight bend leading onto the bridge. We trickled through there to stop the front end washing out and then made good progress up the valley.

However, as we approached the end of section we saw some lumpy steps and a crowd of onlookers. The chief marshal gave us the time-honoured “wind it up some bey” gesture. I duly gassed it and we crashed over the bumps and out of Eddy’s Branch Line.

A quick check of our tyres which seemed okay and we set off having told Sal we’d be late – very late.

Sally's view of the queue before it got too dimpsy (Photo : Sally Livsey)

Lambriggan was bikes only this year so after Perranporth we arrived at Cross Coombe in failing light and heavy rain only to find that the queue at Eddy’s Branch Line was now at Blue Hills. 

Thank heavens Graham and I had used the portaloos at the holding control at Perran! (They were a bit wobbly from the gusts of wind though....)

We held back descending the hill to help some local residents get out of their drive way. Once there was movement, we shuffled down behind our fellow Team Inappropriate team mates Roger Ashby and Andrew James in the Coates Orthoptera.

Somehow, we’d caught up some of our running mates.

The weather was truly foul by now.

Never mind. The graunching from the rear wheels was getting less as maybe the floods were washing the grit out. 

In conditions like these, I try to remember the relief hay fever sufferers must feel.

Blue Hills 1 had been abandoned. The start line marshals said the team on the rope pulling failures out was worn out from work as the section became so slippery.

Someone took a flash photo of us we drove by BH1 and we went up through the gates to Blue Hills 2. I’d only attempted it once before with the sun in my eyes. On that occasion, I’d cleared it with Binky telling me how close I was (or not) to the left-hand bank. Now with poor visibility for entirely different reasons, we picked our way up in the headlamps. The light switch hadn’t melted after all.

We squeezed left onto the restart box and managed to get away but the new end to the section looked incredibly tight. At least we stopped at the stop sign.

We moved on the clear the exit and Zak Ruby popped out of the ground to tell us what a great climb we’d done!

Then Sally came bouncing out of the darkness, apparently soaked but not cold and having had a whale of a time in the ridiculous conditions. Her phone battery was dead but she was full of beans.

She said nothing had seemed to happen for ages as the queue got bigger and some of the marshals had been getting restless, saying it would soon be time for them to leave. You couldn't blame them. Blue Hills had been open from mid-morning. They'd already started clearing things away.

She was especially impressed by the semaphore flag system confirming the section was clear.

We quickly pumped up the tyres again and agreed to meet at the finish at The Miner’s Arms. I wanted to give Sally a lift to her car in the carpark but there was no room in the Arkley-MG. She had to make her way back in the dark avoiding competitors and deep puddles. She later told us her car was the last one there and that some cars were getting stuck leaving it!

She made it, though, and found us in the pub with Binky, Algy (Guy), Ian Moss, Simon Oates and Stephen Moir.  Binky and Simon were both putting in for a Gold and it gradually dawned on me that I’d climbed everything we’d pointed the car at as well.

"Feathers" McGlinchy - the criminal mastermind behind The Wrong Trousers and sleeping partner with the Candidi Provocatores.

“You’ve got to do the Edinburgh now to get a Triple,” said Liege-lord Simon.

Let’s see what the results say. They will be interesting in view of the cancellations and sections attempted and subsequently abandoned.