From the Blackman Black Museum

WARNING - PERSONS OF A NERVOUS OR SENSITIVE DISPOSITION, PEOPLE WITH A HIGHLY DEVELOPED SENSE OF MECHANICAL SYMPATHY, ANYONE WHO IS EASILY FRIGHTENED OR DISTRESSED OR ANY OTHER WETS, WIMPS AND DRIPS LACKING THE BACKBONE OF A JELLYFISH (NO OFFENCE TO JELLYFISHES INTENDED) SHOULD READ NO FURTHER.

(AND THEY CERTAINLY SHOULDN'T LOOK AT THE FOLLOWING PICTURES EITHER.)

There's been a burst of activity in the Boogie Wundaland studio recently. Quite apart from welding up tractor bonnets, at least three of my own vehicles have been through my personal industrial unit and every one of them is a forthcoming Vintage Thing that will appear on this blog dreckly.

I just want them to be in finer fettle before I feel like featuring them.

But first, some grotesque pictures of mechanical torture and automotive wrongs wot I have righted.

This is a clutch but no ordinary clutch. It's on the point of collapse. If you look closely you can see the inner edges of the diaphragm fingers have almost worn away to nothing. Three have disappeared entirely and out of a total of 18, only 9 fingers extend beyond the circle carved out of them by the clutch release bearing. Of the missing pieces of fingers there was no sign. The release bearing was entirely serviceable, worked perfectly and when interviewed about the missing fingers simply stared back with a "Who me?" expression.

Chief suspect, however, must be the nut behind the wheel - that's me if you hadn't guessed.

I'd modified the clutch linkage to ensure that reverse could be engaged on a clutch that seen over 100,000 miles of use. Reverse usually doesn't have synchromesh and engagement of this gear is often the first sign that all is not well within the clutch. My efforts ensured that this clutch operated for another 40,000 miles but last week the gearbox began gnashing its teeth at me in earnest. Clearly, the natural life of the clutch had been extended well beyond what might have been expected by any normal person. At last, it was the end of the road and I took the gearbox out after a fight with two lower control arms and seized pivot bolt.

Comparison between old and new clutch plates shows how much was missing from the diaphragm fingers. Click on the picture for a bigger image. I think I had my money's worth out of these components. As I said the release bearing looked unblemished and felt like new when you rotated it. However, it sported some bright spots that corresponded to the outer wear marks on the clutch diaphragm. The friction plate was in pretty good shape, too, but the whole lot has now been replaced, together with the clutch cable that - somehow - didn't snap under all the tension I was inflicting upon it.

How much longer this clutch would have operated is difficult to say but I reckon it would have been a matter of days.

My cunning wheeze on the clutch mechanism will be reversed by way of welcoming the freshly fitted components into their new workplace.