2023 Camel Classic

At the start, everything is clean. Watto's VW Imp is in the foreground while to the left is the Class 7 winning Beetle of Joe and Gary Browning

The Camel Classic was postponed from February this year but the wait was worth it for many forestry sections were now available, having been out of bounds to all for some time. Representing the Not Terribly Good Club of Great Britain, Mr Graham Beddoe and I weighed up our chumrade’s machinery on the morning of the trial and marvelled at the high standards of preparation.

After a slap-up binge at The Borough Arms, we set off in the Arkley-MG for Hustyn, an old MCC hill on the edge of St Breock Downs. The original section was metalled long ago. Legend has it a doctor insisted upon it to make his life easier visiting patients. Today’s Hustyn lies in the woods to the south and was part of a network of sections for this year’s Camel Classic, beginning with a holding control at the top of the first section where successful climbers pop out of the undergrowth onto the main track.

I’d almost managed to ascend this version of Hustyn in the past but not this time. Recent rains made the ground very soft and our tyres treads soon filled with the sort of watery clay that potters use to stick handles on vases. I think the technical term is slip.

There were lots of tree roots, too, and it was so bumpy our alternator belt lost its tension.

That was a learning point for the forthcoming Exeter Trial – fit a through bolt with nut instead of relying on just the thread in the ally alternator bracket.

Things didn’t improve for us much after that.

Class 8 Liege of Tom Walker

Recent wet weather had changed the sections since they’d been laid out and Ian Cundy spoke of “cricket scores” being a feature on the day i.e. high penalty points.

Many of the sections began either on or athwart the forestry tracks and wriggled up between the trees. After grinding to a halt on a tree stump on a section called Mine Shaft, I was pleased to ascend Hustyn Path without any problems until Mr Graham pointed out that Hustyn Path was not for Class 7 but was actually our exit route from Mine Shaft.

Pump House had warnings of being very steep on the route card but this was one of our better climbs. Coming down again afterwards needed great care and Paul Watson in his VW-powered Imp had slithered off the track into a gulley to rest against a tree stump. Fortunately, marshal Darren Ruby was there to pull him out sideways while those of us pushing cowered from the rooster tails from Darren’s BMW. Paul was having gear selection problems and the bash plate had become a bit bashed but he managed to keep going.

Pump House, where Paul Watson got stuck on a stump before Darren Ruby pulled him out sideways (Photo : Graham Beddoe)

I love that old car! People jest that Paul doesn’t but he actually does really, really’n’truly. He’s just had a run of bad luck with it and will soon treat it to some new panels.

Suitably encouraged by a not too shabby climb on Pump House, we couldn’t even get to the start line on Pheasant Plucker’s Son. We weren’t alone in this. Through the trees, we could hear Simon Oates laughing at his attempt to get to it. That’s how bad it was. However, it didn’t stop many of the Class 8s (although a few had the same trouble as we did).

The last section in Hustyn woods was a special timed test. This wasn’t like an MCC test. Cones marked B indicated the course and having started at line A we drove through these (not over them) to stop astride line C.

Both Graham and I had left our water bottles on our respective dining room tables so we stopped for a much-needed coffee in Cornwall Services and left muddy footprints in MacDonald’s. Friends who live locally boycott Cornwall Services in favour of the BP garage on the old A30 at Victoria and you seem to meet a better clientele there – a chap in a 205 enthused about my turbocharged C15 van the other day.

The next series of sections were in Penkestle Woods under a viaduct off the A38 between Doublebois and Bodmin Parkway. We managed to get off the start line on Penkestle 1 but not much further and could only gaze wistfully at the restart box from a distance on Penkestle 2, once we’d fought our way round the corner.

Dean Partington's DP Falcon

Clinnick, back down the valley near the main railway line was its usual intimidating self. We had to sign a disclaimer to say our brakes were good. Clinnick was very slippery following a shower of rain and having ground to a halt we slithered someway back down with all wheels locked. Coming back down in reverse took especial care.

On the way to Laneskin, we actually reached the restart on Where There’s A Hedge but couldn’t get away.

Laneskin is an old favourite and we not only got away from the restart but reached the top, only for me to mis-read where the section went. There was a bit more to it that I hadn’t anticipated. Graham suggested he called out the numbers of the poles as we ascended so that I didn’t assume the next bend was the last one.

Jack Selwood and Abbie Jeffery attack Helligan Zero as Lisa Gregory looks on. (Photo : Graham Beddoe)

We didn’t get far up Ant Hill and when we swung by Helligan (no not that one) for the final timed test and the last two observed sections, our progress was gentlemanly and unthreatening to our fellow competitors. Graham described Helligan Zero as “a comedy restart” for the Class 8s but some of them managed it. Somehow, we were to drive out of a sunken track at right angles.

Mr Beddoe steps out as Calvin Moore prepares to tackle Helligan Zero. He's supposed to be a novice but he put us to shame

At the finish we heard about some retirements and breakages. Phil Thomas snapped a halfshaft on his Dutton, one of those special shafts designed for 400bhp. No problem, though, they just fitted another. James Shallcross snapped a driveshaft on his Peugeot 205 but still popped up throughout the day to spectate. Andrew Rippon retired but only after clearing Pheasant Plucker's Son, so I doff my hat to you, sir. Paul Watson made it home despite gear selection problems in the VW Imp but unfortunately Nick Symons' Singer Chamois inexplicably had no go on the day so they called it a day after Hustyn.

As a warm up for the Exeter, the Camel Classic was a proper job trial. We found grip in some places but either couldn’t maintain momentum or slithered to a halt in others. We’re wondering about different tyres, maybe different size wheels and maybe even changing up into second if wheelspin becomes too much of a problem but that still feels counter-intuitive to me when we’re travelling so slowly. At least we didn’t get the diff dragging feeling we had on the Tamar Trial. We finished the event and had a good day out, seeing parts of the country we’d never visited before so I’d like to make a huge thank you for the organising team in the Camel Vale Motor Club for a slickly run trial – and I don’t mean our virtual slicks, which our tyres seemed to become when their cleats filled with the wet clay on the day.