Dipping diesel tanks
Back from my travels to Edinburgh, I was shooting the breeze with my neighbours. Around here tractors are a great source of pleasure. I'm not into them but a lot of my mates are. One or two could be Vintage Things.
Most of my tractor fan mates are called Andrew. You'd think this would make life more convenient but it doesn't. More on that another time.
Anyway, I'd just bumped into Andrew in town buying some "proper job" aluminium number plates for one of his Fordson Majors. He said how much he was looking forward to the forthcoming vintage shows despite the price of fuel. He was determined not to let anyone "piss on my firework."
When I came home, Andrew and Andrew were fitting a warning beacon to Andrew's souped up, hot rodded six-cylinder Major. Andrew's got one of these, too. In fact he's got three now and is well into double figures with his tractors.
I told them I'd just seen Andrew and they knew all about what he was up to because Andrew had told them. (That would have been the fourth Andrew - I hope you're following this.)
They then went on to tell me that they are expecting "the Ministry" to be lying in wait outside the vintage show grounds this summer dipping the tanks to see whether they are running their tractors on white diesel or agricultural red diesel.
As their tractors are now preserved and no longer used in agriculture, it is apparently illegal for them to use the much cheaper red stuff. "The Ministry" will be dipping tanks to make sure they are using DERV fuel - Diesel Engine Road Vehicle fuel.
The recent fuel price increases are hitting everyone but it seems a shame to target the preservation movement.
I don't see how dipping the tanks would prove anything. After a life time of agricultural use the fuel is probably a delicate rose. The red dye goes a long way. Just a little in your car or van fuel system would be grounds for a persecution, sorry prosecution, should you be caught.
There are rumours that domestic heating oil is being substituted for white diesel and that you can declare a certain amount to "the ministry" to avoid prosecution. Nobody knows anyone who has tried this, though. The word on the streets - well lanes, seeing as we're in Cornwall - is that common rail diesels are damaged by heating oil so somebody must have tried that.
There are also rumours that if you strain red diesel through slices of white bread the red dye comes out. I don't know how many loaves per gallon you need but this has the ring of truth about it.
Interest in bio-diesel is growing rapidly. I first read about this in the Citroen Car Club magazine about eight years ago. That was when folk began to notice that, having been seduced by diesel's lower fuel price and running costs, the price of their DERV fuel was creeping up beyond unleaded.
So we have the government generating lots of lovely revenue to invade foreign countries, stage Olympics and build domes by taxing fuel, "the ministry" chasing the general populace about because only an idiot would willingly pay the high fuel prices and the general populace searching for cheaper fuel alternatives.
Like LPG. Mind you, I think that's a bubble that's about to burst. Once the infrastructure is in place and enough people are using it, the government will raise the tax on that and invade Iran to make the world a safer place. And protect our oil supplies.
Meanwhile, the Andrews (none of whom would ever answer to Andy) will be turning the clock back even more this summer and showing their oldest vehicles, which typically run on paraffin. And there's nothing (at the moment) that those fun police at "the ministry" can do about it.
It seems that fireworks will indeed be kept dry. In some cases they'll be ceremonially sprayed with red diesel.
Most of my tractor fan mates are called Andrew. You'd think this would make life more convenient but it doesn't. More on that another time.
Anyway, I'd just bumped into Andrew in town buying some "proper job" aluminium number plates for one of his Fordson Majors. He said how much he was looking forward to the forthcoming vintage shows despite the price of fuel. He was determined not to let anyone "piss on my firework."
When I came home, Andrew and Andrew were fitting a warning beacon to Andrew's souped up, hot rodded six-cylinder Major. Andrew's got one of these, too. In fact he's got three now and is well into double figures with his tractors.
I told them I'd just seen Andrew and they knew all about what he was up to because Andrew had told them. (That would have been the fourth Andrew - I hope you're following this.)
They then went on to tell me that they are expecting "the Ministry" to be lying in wait outside the vintage show grounds this summer dipping the tanks to see whether they are running their tractors on white diesel or agricultural red diesel.
As their tractors are now preserved and no longer used in agriculture, it is apparently illegal for them to use the much cheaper red stuff. "The Ministry" will be dipping tanks to make sure they are using DERV fuel - Diesel Engine Road Vehicle fuel.
The recent fuel price increases are hitting everyone but it seems a shame to target the preservation movement.
I don't see how dipping the tanks would prove anything. After a life time of agricultural use the fuel is probably a delicate rose. The red dye goes a long way. Just a little in your car or van fuel system would be grounds for a persecution, sorry prosecution, should you be caught.
There are rumours that domestic heating oil is being substituted for white diesel and that you can declare a certain amount to "the ministry" to avoid prosecution. Nobody knows anyone who has tried this, though. The word on the streets - well lanes, seeing as we're in Cornwall - is that common rail diesels are damaged by heating oil so somebody must have tried that.
There are also rumours that if you strain red diesel through slices of white bread the red dye comes out. I don't know how many loaves per gallon you need but this has the ring of truth about it.
Interest in bio-diesel is growing rapidly. I first read about this in the Citroen Car Club magazine about eight years ago. That was when folk began to notice that, having been seduced by diesel's lower fuel price and running costs, the price of their DERV fuel was creeping up beyond unleaded.
So we have the government generating lots of lovely revenue to invade foreign countries, stage Olympics and build domes by taxing fuel, "the ministry" chasing the general populace about because only an idiot would willingly pay the high fuel prices and the general populace searching for cheaper fuel alternatives.
Like LPG. Mind you, I think that's a bubble that's about to burst. Once the infrastructure is in place and enough people are using it, the government will raise the tax on that and invade Iran to make the world a safer place. And protect our oil supplies.
Meanwhile, the Andrews (none of whom would ever answer to Andy) will be turning the clock back even more this summer and showing their oldest vehicles, which typically run on paraffin. And there's nothing (at the moment) that those fun police at "the ministry" can do about it.
It seems that fireworks will indeed be kept dry. In some cases they'll be ceremonially sprayed with red diesel.
Not unusual in the slightest. Go to any agricultural or weekend market where farmers will be driving diesel vehicles, they'll be dipped.
ReplyDeleteIn the cities, builders vans are routinely dipped.
Farmers will get stopped more as our Government hates them
I have a little white van but have not yet been stopped to have my tank dipped.
ReplyDeleteI suppose it's only a matter of time.
A friend was stopped a couple of years back on a Peugeot 205 car.. They were using ANPR to pull anything showing up as heavy oil powered into the layby.
ReplyDeleteI've just been lucky I guess. The last big banger racing event I went to featured VOSA lying in wait to dip the tanks of the trucks carrying the wrecks away. With the current price of diesel I bet they're out dipping more frequently than ever.
ReplyDelete